Just Have To Larf

[Guest]

Emergency call out, turns out it was a timed out entry, at customer request checked out contact timers set and unset system and went home for the day.

It was my wed night call out rota, said customer rang up and asked for an emergency attendance as the "XXXXing fool of an engineer wo had attended earlier didnt have a clue and he was woried about his system. Trying not to laugh too much i informed him that the said engineer was one of the best fault finders i had ever encountered and that I had found no fault, with this he started to hyperventillate and start shouting, i told him to calm down or he would have a heart attack and hung up.

Bottom line hauled into office after his complaint and told not to take the piss when customers are stroppy, in my defence were about 25 letters of praise from other customers about myself and the things i had done to make the use of their systems easier to use (mainly cos the previous engineers dint have a clue how to do clever tricks with part sets.

[binthere]

A CUSTOMER of ours called us back to remove the LED from a detector, although we were aware of her occupation due to what was easily noticable in her bedroom whilst installing the system, we were not customers of her's.

The reason for removing the LED was 'it was very distracting whilst she was at work' when this reason was explained we fully understood and never questioned her professionalism.

Her Occupation a high class prostitute, with full Police signalling !!!

We now understand the needs of that industry and have several friends of MADAM on our books.

We are just careful who we send to service the systems.

[Guest]

A CUSTOMER of ours called us back to remove the LED from a detector, although we were aware of her occupation due to what was easily noticable in her bedroom whilst installing the system, we were not customers of her's.

The reason for removing the LED was 'it was very distracting whilst she was at work' when this reason was explained we fully understood and never questioned her professionalism.

Her Occupation a high class prostitute, with full Police signalling !!!

We now understand the needs of that industry and have several friends of MADAM on our books.

We are just careful who we send to service the systems.

I`ll do the PMV`s

[breff]

A CUSTOMER of ours called us back to remove the LED from a detector, although we were aware of her occupation due to what was easily noticable in her bedroom whilst installing the system, we were not customers of her's.

The reason for removing the LED was 'it was very distracting whilst she was at work' when this reason was explained we fully understood and never questioned her professionalism.

Her Occupation a high class prostitute, with full Police signalling !!!

We now understand the needs of that industry and have several friends of MADAM on our books.

We are just careful who we send to service the systems.

We have the CCTV in a couple of these places, very distracting when there's a fault and there are girls walking about in undies, they have full blown conversations with you and you dont know where to look

[camerabloke]

dont suppose you got any footage?

[arfur mo]

as a trainee many many moons ago, i was working in some offices, it was when nylon carpet started to be placed everywhere and mini skirts were just pelmet's.

the boss of the company ask my engineer if we had accidentally wired the metal desks and chairs to the mains as :'( he girls were complaining of shocks from them? my engineer was a bit confussed by this, so i was sent to check it out, being trusted with the meter and some common sense. i was always top in science so knew the answer already, i was also 18 years old and not going to miss a goldern opertunity to chat these girls up either.

the 'problem' was static discharge, when the girls sat on the metal rimmed chair's or lent up against the desk's the spark were jumping from a very personal and sensative part of their anatomy - invesigating it was sheer paradise, and esplaining it to some corking looking girls was great fun.

can still see those legs now B) but with the passing of great time i bet they have 'gone off' a bit. and by now nearer nora batty wrinkled stockings and all :'(

regs

alan

[antinode]

I once made the mistake of explaining to a customer how a dual tech works once. The system had false alarmed two times in one night so we were called out the following day to sort it. Did all the usual checks with nothing unusual. The muppet that had upgraded it had turned the microwave up full and had put the garage DT on the same zone (using a heavy duty contact as a junction box no less).

I explain to the customer that the microwave part of the dual tech was probably a tad on the over sensitive side, and that I was adjusting it for the correct sensitivity, so she decides to give me a hand in walk testing it by pacing about the room waving her hands about like a mad woman. A minute later, she was giving a running commentary on her findings: "still seems a bit sensitive", "I wonder if the detector has become faulty" and the old classic "I wonder if it's a moth or spider". I nearly gave her the sheet to fill out aswell!

As if it could'nt get any better, the guy that upgraded it had wired the internal sounder (a CQR Soint 1) off the loudspeaker output on an Accord (and you know how bad that sounds anyway), giving this really pathetic squarking noise when it went off