Funeral Parlours

[morph]

The locks were for the chiller rooms to stop joe bloggs entering.

See not with content with trying to do there own alarms, they want to do embalming and post mortems to!

:lol:

simple, jocks never give up their loot without a fight

regs

alan

Just as well it wasn't a tight southern ass then otherwise you'd have been tripping over all the power tools and the EEC dead body mountain(due to arthurs tales/imagination)

[ian.cant]

I used to service the CCTV in a local Crem, i was always facinated and had the "XXX" guided tour, doors open while they burn. It was a entertaining to me to see them burning, far from gruesome, but then again it was all down to the location if you catch my drift!

Edited July 24, 2006 by ian.cant

[Guest]

Worse then, as you may have gathered i started as a locksmith many moons ago.

Assisted on 24 dead body recoveries over 11 yrs or so, from murdered to overdosed to natural death.

Worst was a sheltered housing unit witht he body being "melted into the bed" covered with maggots. Strange the manager had a master key...............

No i lied, worst was finding a m8ts brother dead of a overdose.

Rest was just normal stuff really, if you count finding bodies that is.

Coppers, piss em ( read my disclaimer below) the ammount of times i watched them puke, or say its a gas leak. Ever smelt a decaying corpse, its not like natural Gas believe me.

[Guest]

I use to do CO-OP funeral parlours for Modern Alarms years ago.

I once went to a fault call and was directed into a viewing room, I asked if anybody was in there and the reply I got was just "one in a box".

Fine I think I can cope with that and then to my horror found the lid was OFF!!! :'(

You try changing a surface door contact on a fire door next to a stiff.

Not nice.

Dave

[ian.cant]

You try changing a surface door contact on a fire door next to a stiff

With a Stiffy is kind of exciting tho! B)

[Mark Pitts]

I was once asked by an American to modify a PIR so that it would keep the relay open for one minute following a detection. He then started asking other slightly unusal questions.

When I queried what the application was it turned out he owned a chapel of rest and was trying to rig up an automated coffin-lid-opener so that the body would be appear on view whenever someone entered the room.

(I suspect he was after extra business by scaring the s**t out of anyone who came in and hoping they had a "dickie ticker")...

Mark

Edited August 3, 2006 by Mark Pitts

[arfur mo]

this threads been interesting, as an off shoot i used to wok the east side of london which had several abotuars on my patch, got to say watch the cows go in the door, and seeing all the 'waste' bins steaming and the smell made me feel real queasy. so always did them when they were not working.

anyone for a burger?

regs

alan

[Guest]

I've done a slaughter house as well, a Piggy One.

All I can say is I refused to go in when they were 'working'!

The only part of the pig they don't use is the oink.

One of my colleagues climbed into the pen and started stroking the pigs saying it won't hurt!!

Dave

[Guest G.J.M]

I had to work in a slaughter house when i was a 17 year old kid and went to help on a call out on a sat morning.

I had drunk a bottle of Malibu the night before and as soon as i got in the place i spewed.

Felt better for it though.

Been back several times since during normal operations and it's not pretty.Our last apprentice never came back after we chased him around with a pigs head.(poof)

[arfur mo]

hi all,

not security but telecoms in funeral parlour

a little known fact with a Panasonic KXTD 1232 is it has a built in tune for 'on hold' built in and can be listenned to through the handsets. it's not dicumented anywhere but go on a coarse and you get to know.

this parlour had one fitted for several months and the engineer had turned it on, but no one checked what happened when on hold - the tune was an ice cream van version of -:

"bring me sunshine"

when the receptionist hit the background music button and it played out while relatives were making arrangements - till one complained of 'insensitivity'.

priceless!

regs

alan