I'm A Liabiliy

[Guest alarm_guy1]

Had an apprentice with me some years ago and was drilling from a garage into a house, sent the apprentice into the loft to watch for my metre long bit, On the phone he's telling me I can hear it "yeah, but can you see it?" "you must be able to see it you blind F****r I've got a whole metre in". "not yet he says" Me "your useless i'm coming round" as I climbed the stairs heading apprentice bound there smack bang in the centre of the bedroom wall was my drill bit..

Eating humble pie whilst appologising to the apprentice and explaining to the customer, who had only just rag rolled the wall 2 weeks prior... ARGHHHHHHHHH

consoled the customer with a free contact on the back door. (Luckily)

Was once working installing an intruder system in an Amusement arcade in Clacton, on a fairly busy morning, while putting the panel up I stepped back and accidently leant on the main breaker for most of the arcade, silence and darkness for a few moments, and a very unhappy arcade boss and a few unhappy punters, nowhere to run and no one else to blame.

Last one of many I promise..

Had just started for a national and was on a site where I was drilling through the aluminium window frame to fit and ET, when i heard a cracking, I had just clipped the edge of the double glazed unit and it had shattered, it was only about 5ft square, site manager was none too happy....

Anyone want to employ me......

[camerabloke]

Youre not my new apprentice by any chance are you?

[Guest]

Anyone want to employ me......

I think we've tried you already............. you was far too skilled for us muppets

[Guest]

13x 18 ft glass patio door, contact, chink.

Stepped back watched it grow and grow..........called a m8 whos a glazier and he said no worries but put down a blanket, i said why and the sound got bigger and the glass fell on the floor..........he said thats why laughing as he hung up.

[arfur mo]

many moons abck while on service for Chubbs, got called out to 8pm to a rocking nightclub, external bell ringing, no cut of timer those days and chucking it down. get to the club no mains to panel and neighbours getting ready to start a riot.

panel in beer cellar single dingy bulb to work with, i trace mains feed back from spur to metal socket. i guess its loose inside, and i got a few options -:

go up ladder in the rain to kill bell and return @ 3am to reinstate when i can safely restore mains. don't fancy this it's a delta bell so no joy to dismantleing it even in the dry and daylight.

stick a couple of batts on it to hold bell overnight

or fix it 'live'

not wanting to risk getting another call elswhwere i decide to ease off the socket plate and with long screwdriver to tighten wires. do the black fine, touch the red and tighten which then shorts to the casing with a blinding flash.

i can here the disco decks slowing down, shouts as lights go out, chillers all go off complaints from snooker table. manager panicking tells me to fix the power now.

all i can see is a bright orange ball in front of me, i can't even make out the doors or bar, let alone a fuse box. took ages to locate blown fuse and had barman rewire it as i could not see, all the time the bell is still going and complaints from neighbours are pouring in.

fortunately the power remaid ok in the socket, but i never did find the screwdrivers shaft, all i had left was the plastic handle.

regs

alan

[Guest]

well what a shocking experience you had!!

flashy more likely..

[Guest]

consoled the customer with a free contact on the back door. (Luckily)

How old was the customer, about ten?

Surprising they didnt claim on your insurance, how did you manage to console them with the door contact - pat their back with it? - Im not being funny with you, tis just, you must have had the gift of the gab to get away with that one, most punters would have wanted you to be knocking money of the job or writting them a cheque!

[kka]

employment conditions depending on experience.

2 shilling a week. payable direct into bank monthly.

boots hardhat and flo jacket, bring your own to guarentee correct size.

driving license prefered, but not essential, company horse and cart provided.

must be prepared to get dirty.

must be prepared to travel (just won big contract in north pole region, fitting wireless to igloo's)

knowledge of obtaining power supply in unusual conditions. essential

all damage to be taken out of wages.

good communication skills essential (do you speak eskimo, iraqy).

interview will need to be past ( in two parts, four week practical in north pole, followed by two day assessment and interviews).

work may be dangerous, currently bidding for big contract in bagdad, no racists need apply

travel expenses to be met by you. personnel milage and all that.

still interested...............................................sign here.

[sasss]

As an apprentice with BT back in the early '70's I witnessed a number of 'funny' installation moments.

1) Running cables above a suspended celing in the foyer of a london West-End cinema, the engineer I was 'allocated' to slipped off the high pair of step-ladders he was standing upon and grabbed the edge of the ceiling, where he had removed the tile, as he fell, he then brought down about 20 square metres of ceiling onto the heads of the customers buying their popcorn. Obviously there was something wrong with how the ceiling had been originally fixed, but you try telling that to an irate cinema manager who was trying to placate dozens of customers covered in broken ceiling tiles, dust, pieces of insulating material and assorted other **** that had found it's way above the ceiling over the years!

2) Similar to earlier posting (which jogged my memory!), the engineer I was allocated to was using a very long drill bit to try to gain access to the floor below. In those days we didn't have power tools and the drilling was being done with a good old 'bit and brace'. this was very time-consuming and hard work, especially as the buildings we normally worked in were very old and it was not uncommon to find very thick floors and walls. After about an hour of effort and the drill bit having disappeared into the floor by neartly a metre, we stopped for a hard-earned lunch break leaving the drill and bit in place. Locking the door to the empty office we were working in we departed to the cafe regularly used by our colleagues and enjoyed nearly two hours of bacon rolls, tea and general chit-chat.

Upon returning to complete the job we were doing, we found the whole building in uproar, since the occupants of the office below the one we had been working in couldn't open their thick office door. Our 'still in place' drill bit had travelled through the floor, the door frame below and a good 150mm into the door, thereby rendering it locked solid closed! Lucky that there wasn't a fire whilst we were enjoying our lunch!

[Guest]

... Lucky that there wasn't a fire whilst we were enjoying our lunch!

but then you could have had a decent cannibal barbeque party!!