esp-protocol Posted January 17, 2007 Posted January 17, 2007 >Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. > >Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in County Mayo, Eire. > >He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email he sent to his sister. > >She then sent it to RnaG in Galway, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won. > > >Hi Sue, > >Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. > >Last week I had a bad day at the office. > >I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. > >As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. > >I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. > >This time of year the water is quite cool. > >So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. > >What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. > >It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. > >This only made things worse. > >Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. > >I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. > >In agony I realized what had happened. > >The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. > >Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't Stick to it. > >However, the crack of my //.B.W.F.// was not as fortunate. > >When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my //.B.W.F.//. > >I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, was laughing hysterically. > >Needless to say I aborted the dive. > >I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. > >As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my //.B.W.F.// as soon as I got in the chamber. > >The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my hole was swollen shut. > >So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much Worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your backside. > >Now repeat to yourself, > >"I love my job, I love my job, I love my job." > > > >Steve P >
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