mjw Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 >Murphy's Lesser-Known Laws > > > >1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear >bright until you hear them speak. > >2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. > >3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. > >4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. > >5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting >something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. > >6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would >be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, >in the fog. > >7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggy junk left >by those who got there first. > >8. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. > >9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. > >10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of > >12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. > Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 >Murphy's Lesser-Known Laws> > > >1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear >bright until you hear them speak. > >2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. > >3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. > >4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. > >5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting >something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. > >6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would >be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, >in the fog. > >7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggy junk left >by those who got there first. > >8. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. > >9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. > >10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of > >12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. > oh - these are not lesser known - but common knowledge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uski Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Things You Learn From the Movies: 1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not. 2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. 4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. 8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving. 14. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. 16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. 17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 20. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now. 21. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 22. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 23. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 24. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps. 25. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. 26. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
golfball Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Things You Learn From the Movies:15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. and i thought it was Scottish!! Life is like a box of choclates.....if you dont get there first your left with all the naff ones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chorlton Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Yesski he speakski russianski Seen Canary what a talented Scottish export Unfortunately his Scottish accent wasn't good enough to beat Mel Gibson for the role of William Wallace in Braveheart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 ...Seen Canary .... that's what i have been trying to teach to my english teachers !!!!!!! Unfortunately his Scottish accent wasn't good enough to beat Mel Gibson for the role of William Wallace in Braveheart i didin't watch that movie for a while but i think that W.W. in the movie didn't speak same scotch than what i hera when calling to edinburgh (which is in scotland - rite? ).. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
integrafire Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 What about when you are carrying a load of gearback to the car, you can always guarantee that your car keys will be in the pocket of your trousers on the side you are most laden up. Also when doing a job in a jb or panel miles from the main panel, if you do the work, lid up take your ladders down and carry it all back the fault will still be there. If you leave it all there and go back to the panel to reset it will clear straight away. Friday afternoon jobs always go belly up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.