Obsevations

[arfur mo]

ypes of People You Might Meet in the Men's Room

EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.

SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.

CROSSEYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.

TIMID: Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.

INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.

CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor.

WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.

FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.

ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.

CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.

SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed.

PATIENT: Stands very close for a long while waiting, reads with free hand.

DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.

TOUGH: Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry it.

EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to ****, then does both.

FAT: Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shoe.

LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in, drowns.

DRUNK: Holds right thumb in left hand, pisses in pants.

DISGRUNTLED: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.

CONCEITED: Holds two-inch dick like a baseball bat.

RADICAL: Ignores urinal. Pisses on wall.

[sparky999]

Hi Alan

Hope you don`t mind me adding a joke on your post as everytime I start one

someone keeps moving it Yet no-one elses gets moved!

Little Tony

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and

you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your

thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU.

There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:

One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.

The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.

The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one

that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the

wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."

LITTLE TONY ON MATH (Part 2)

Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father?

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3,'" I said "6", replies TONY.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3 x 2?'"

"What's the f**king difference?" asks the father.

"That's what I said!"

LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH

Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to

learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a

multi-syllable word?"

TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."

Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blow job."

LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

Little TONY was sitting in class one day.

All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom .

He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in

this situation.

The correct word you want to use is 'urinate .'

Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will

allow you to go."

Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if

you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"

LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show

of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same

sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought

my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little

Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on

little TONY.

Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was

pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just //.B.W.F.// beautiful!'"

LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER

Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after

another.

After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you

know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne,

rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Little TONY answered, " No, he minded his own //.B.W.F.// business.