Whats The Daftest/funniest Thing Your Apprentice Has Done

[alterEGO]

Thin it was more like his B***s the way he landed.

yeah, bo//ocks came to mind when i read it aswell.....................although nothing to do with the fall.

[Specialist]

yeah, bo//ocks came to mind when i read it aswell.....................although nothing to do with the fall.

You've never seen an accident out on site then?

[alterEGO]

You've never seen an accident out on site then?

no never.

except this one time when my apprentice slipped in a loft, did two back flips and fell down the chimney.

[Specialist]

no never.

except this one time when my apprentice slipped in a loft, did two back flips and fell down the chimney.

Hope you filled out the accident report properly?

[RichL]

Did'nt you offer to inspect the damage?

or kiss it better?

[Specialist]

or kiss it better?

He does'nt kiss & tell.

[arfur mo]

this one was down to me,

my early days as a newly qualified engineer told my 'mate' to run this cable -:

he drilled through what we new was a wall with large cavity, he go's other side no sign of it. so i tell him to push a bit of 1/2 galve through. has another look no sign puzzled??? so i feed in some 6 core, and still no sign of it.

finally, manager comes to me saying "why are you putting that bit of tube with a wire hanging out the end over the main road?"

very old buildings meant i/we had to traverse several rooms and got confused with directions .

in the days of mainly contacts on internal doors, i've forgotten the amount of times the trainee has drilled the wrong side of the door stop, end up with 1" hole saw cutting plug from any spare timber to hand, to filll the hole lol!

house in Southgate, North London.

installation dept had fecked up on 2 brand new doors when fitting the Chubb 311G Lock, on these locks the keep recess is central but the lock tongue is off centre. it is the easiest mistake to make in the world to line up on the plates not the holes with the tongue (keep it clean lads).

so now i get sent in to fit the third chubb lock (just to say Chubb Alram Trained and have fitted countless amounts of them), but client has now called in a local locksmith to do the job, giving me and via me my colleagues a load of verbal. now i can understand his angst so i have to be diplomatic and be quiet, take the flack while actually the problems is nothing to do with me personally.

while i'm very good at PR, getting the client back on board was obviously a lost cause, so now i want out asap.so decide to check with the locky having a quiet word to be sure he knew about the offset. but i get roundly and loudly rebuked with some serious attitude for 'talking to a professional locksmith in such a way'????, ffsks so instead or removing his head as i would normally do, ok, he is after extra work and putting in a high bill which my emploer wil be paying so i decide to bite my tongue and step away for the sakes of gaining a quick exit.

talk about a 'manor from heaven' as i watch he also fooks it up, i know he has but stay quiet as he even cuts in and fits the key escutcheon plates only to find the lock won't throw - just as the previous 2 alarm engineers had lol!

you can just bet hw i enjoyed rubbing his and the clients nose's in it, the relish of informing the client my time was now chargeable as we had offered to do the work but i was prevented, and now the locksmith looked really sheepish.

so now i added to his pain by advising the 'cure' for this very common mistake by armatures is very simple, move the lock to the correct position, fill the pocket and fit finger plates to cover the holes made in the wrong place for the keys, the plates actually enhanced the doors appearance.

given thre grief i had to absorb i insisted the locky stayed and watched, making no light matter watching a true expert at work .

i don't know if he ever got paid - i do know my firm did not pay his bill and got paid my time, i also know i got a £20 tip sweet!

Arfur

[MrHappy]

i also know i got a £20 tip sweet!

deposit for a house in them days ?

[arfur mo]

deposit for a house in them days ?

bloody near true, i think the client thought i was not going to fill in a charge form lol!

one of the more common and funnier mishaps, Rely-aBell in common with many other companies systems had 'end of line' batteries, they would always be in the male toilet and in a wooden box up high. these were 3 x 1.5 'O' Cells i.e big heavy bugger's, they had a + brass nut and a - fly lead so were tied to each other to make the 4.5 volts

placing the old batts on top of the system as you swapped over the new ones, but if you forgot to bring them down with you, all i can say is the next person pulling the chain often did it for you - the 'hammer' would knock them of the casing resulting in one hell of a splash in the pan - and some severely wet/shocked chain puller lol!

its not all about fixing systems or being careful, PR is often needed so being a bit 'fly' also helps a service engineer on occasions -:

working on service i had to go to a jewellers shop on a Saturday morning, a stack of old and well rotten QS lead acid panel batteries had fallen through the tiled ceiling, crashing through the display counter and smashing the class. over the years they had simply been left up there by lazy numbnuts engineers on maintenance visits.

so i'm asked by the understandably angry owner why they were not removed? well number one rule is cover the company, number two rule is cover your colleges, so thinking fast the best i could come up with using my best a straight face i reply 'they are actually considered the clients property, it could be classed as a theft if the engineer/s disposed of them, similar to when cutting you neighbours bushes which overhang your garden, and not offering the cuttings back to them' and to my amazement he took it and thanked me for being so 'informed' .

i offered to remove the rest of them (i counted 68 batts all told) and to place a notice on the control panel which he 'had' to sign telling future engineers he has given his permission to dispose of them .

Arfur

[Specialist]

Classic, Nice get out.