A Three Minute Management Course

[sparky999]

>>> Lesson 1

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>>>

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>>> A priest offered a Nun a lift.

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>>> She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

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>>> The priest nearly had an accident.

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>>> After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

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>>> The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129? '

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>>> The priest removed his hand.

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>>> But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

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>>> The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129? '

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>>> The priest apologised 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak. '

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>>> Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.

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>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.

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>>> It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory. '

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>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Management lesson:

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>>> If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great

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>>> opportunity

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>>>

>>>

>>> Lesson 2

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>>>

>>> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to

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>>> lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

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>>> They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of

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>>> you just one wish. '

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>>> Me first! Me first! ' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the

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>>> Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world. '

>>> Puff! She's

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>>> gone.

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>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Me next! Me next! ' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii,

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>>> relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of

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>>> Pina Coladas and the love of my life. ' Puff! He's gone.

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>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> 'OK, you're up, ' the Genie says to the manager.

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>>> The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch. '

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>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Management lesson:

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>>> Always let your boss have the first say

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>>> Lesson 3

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>>> An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

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>>> A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you

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>>> and do nothing? '

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>>> The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not. '

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>>> So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

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>>> All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

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>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Management lesson:

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>>> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up

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>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Lesson 4

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>>>

>>>

>>> A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to

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>>> the top of that tree, ' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the

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>>> energy. '

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>>> Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings? '

>>> replied the bull.

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>>> They're packed with nutrients. '

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>>> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him

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>>> enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,

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>>> after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

>>> Finally after

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>>> a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

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>>> He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

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>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Management lesson:

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>>> //.B.W.F.// might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there

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>>>

>>>

>>> Lesson 5

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>>>

>>>

>>> A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird

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>>> froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying

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>>> there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

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>>> As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to

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>>> realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

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>>> He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

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>>>

>>>

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>>> A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate

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>>> Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow

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>>> dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

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>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> Management lesson:

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>>> Not everyone who XXXXX on you is your enemy.

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>>> Not everyone who gets you out of XXXXX is your friend.

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>>> And when you're in deep XXXX, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

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>>>

>>>

>>>

>>> This ends the 3-minute management