A Tale From...the Sewerage Farm

[Number2]

Hi everyone. This isnt so much a joke but a story that has me in stiches even to this day, hope you enjoy.

I had been given my work for the week, take the lad with me to a sewage pumping station way down south, strip it and rewire the electrics and alarms and figure out the telemetry system so signals can be sent. Another team of guys had been given the task of renewing the pipe work and removing the pumps as i dissconect them. So there we were all 4 of us snug as a bug in a very small rug, we all had smiles on our faces and was all jovial as we worked. Glen the pipe fitter was eager to start and promptly started nagging at me to dis the pumps at the control panel so he could start the pipe work. I did as requested and dis'd pump set 2, the back up to the main pumps, i shouted down that pump 2 was dead and safe to work on. Minutes later Glen and his lad was beavering away with the grinder taking the old pump out. I had said to leave the pump in place til i had the new one ready and in position but had obviously been mis heard.

My lad Tim at the time was currently ripping the mains power out and i had left him in charge of the alarm side of things, little did i know what he was really doing. In Tims usual fashion he switched the DB off at the main switch allowing him to work safely on all circuits, in doing so also knocked off the pressure alarm which controlled pumps 1+2.

Suddenly. CRACK BANG PSSSHHHHHHSSHHHSHSHSHHHSHSHSH CRASH BANG PshhsSHHSHSHHSHSHHHSHSHHSHHSHSHSHSHSHS.AHHHHHHhhhhh STOP IT.PSSSHSHSHSHSHHSHSHSHSHHHSHSHSHHSHSHSHHSHSH.*gargled sound*"SWITCH IT OFF" PSHHSHSHHSHSHHSHHSHSHHSHSHHSHSH.

Frit the life out of me and young Tim, as we both peer over to see Glen and boy covered head to toe in the brown stuff with some sweetcorn for colouring. I flicked the switch to start pump 1 and soon chaos became a little clearer if not a little smellier. Glen in his old aged wisdom didnt check to see for pressure in pump set 2 and with Tim turning the alarm off he wouldnt have known unless he drained the system off from above and isolated the pipe work. Glen had taken the pipe work off below the pump and was trying to crack the top gasket to the pump by kicking it. Imagine his shock as the pump fell over and about 300 litres of high pressure raw sewerage flowed into the well he and the boy was in. I couldnt help but laugh as he and the boy stood outside being hosed down washing sweetcorn from each others clothes and pulling womens rags from their boots!

I promise this is true but the names are made up, not that this story could ever be mistaken by the two pipe fitters or my lad Tim. Oh well, //.B.W.F.// happens!

[luggsey]

Hi everyone. This isnt so much a joke but a story that has me in stiches even to this day, hope you enjoy.

I had been given my work for the week, take the lad with me to a sewage pumping station way down south, strip it and rewire the electrics and alarms and figure out the telemetry system so signals can be sent. Another team of guys had been given the task of renewing the pipe work and removing the pumps as i dissconect them. So there we were all 4 of us snug as a bug in a very small rug, we all had smiles on our faces and was all jovial as we worked. Glen the pipe fitter was eager to start and promptly started nagging at me to dis the pumps at the control panel so he could start the pipe work. I did as requested and dis'd pump set 2, the back up to the main pumps, i shouted down that pump 2 was dead and safe to work on. Minutes later Glen and his lad was beavering away with the grinder taking the old pump out. I had said to leave the pump in place til i had the new one ready and in position but had obviously been mis heard.

My lad Tim at the time was currently ripping the mains power out and i had left him in charge of the alarm side of things, little did i know what he was really doing. In Tims usual fashion he switched the DB off at the main switch allowing him to work safely on all circuits, in doing so also knocked off the pressure alarm which controlled pumps 1+2.

Suddenly. CRACK BANG PSSSHHHHHHSSHHHSHSHSHHHSHSHSH CRASH BANG PshhsSHHSHSHHSHSHHHSHSHHSHHSHSHSHSHSHS.AHHHHHHhhhhh STOP IT.PSSSHSHSHSHSHHSHSHSHSHHHSHSHSHHSHSHSHHSHSH.*gargled sound*"SWITCH IT OFF" PSHHSHSHHSHSHHSHHSHSHHSHSHHSHSH.

Frit the life out of me and young Tim, as we both peer over to see Glen and boy covered head to toe in the brown stuff with some sweetcorn for colouring. I flicked the switch to start pump 1 and soon chaos became a little clearer if not a little smellier. Glen in his old aged wisdom didnt check to see for pressure in pump set 2 and with Tim turning the alarm off he wouldnt have known unless he drained the system off from above and isolated the pipe work. Glen had taken the pipe work off below the pump and was trying to crack the top gasket to the pump by kicking it. Imagine his shock as the pump fell over and about 300 litres of high pressure raw sewerage flowed into the well he and the boy was in. I couldnt help but laugh as he and the boy stood outside being hosed down washing sweetcorn from each others clothes and pulling womens rags from their boots!

I promise this is true but the names are made up, not that this story could ever be mistaken by the two pipe fitters or my lad Tim. Oh well, //.B.W.F.// happens!

I stopped working on sewage pumps when someone told me you should have extra shots for Hep etc. My boss at the time didn't give a //.B.W.F.// so I never even got told! I thought it a good oppertunity to let others know about it here......

Worst poo story I have is not as good as this one but I was installing new cables in underground ducts once at a sewage plant, the manholes were full of poo due to a leaking pipe. The main contractor was told to wash them out and disenfect before we would get in them. When we started pulling in the cables the ducts were still full of it!! I won't forget that job!!!

[Baracus]

I worked on quite a few WWTW over here too, sewage actually doesnt smell too bad until is goes stagnant. I refused to do any work unless I was properly kitted out PPE, gas monitors and BA gear. Its a lot more dangerous than people think and thats on top of the risk of infection!!

[PJF]

Same story with me, worked on lots of water and waste treatment sites. At the time no body mentioned having jabs and it never crossed my mind about the risks. One time I had been on a fairly nasty sewage works and it was a very windy site, with a fine mist getting blown off the settlement tanks and about a week after completion I came down with a bad eye infection. I actually ended up in A&E at midnight as the pain was so bad, the hospital really scared me as they hadn't seen this type of infection in this country. It still comes back, especially if i have been in a dusty environment so I now have to carry steroid eye drops in my car. Happy days.

PJF

[amateurandy]

Smelliest place I've been was a computer room on the ground floor of a "newish" office block.

The builders hadn't got the falls right on the main sewer from the toilets in the building core, and of course the computers were all close to that for cable access....

So "stuff" from the ladies loos built a blockage somewhere outside and it all backed up horribly over a weekend with most of it going into the floor void under the computer room - about 20cm deep but still leaving a reasonable gap below the floor tiles.

Which gave just enough space to really spread the fumes because the clever air conditioning system sucked in air at ceiling level then blew it into the floor void to rise up through vents and racks ........

It had a whole weekend brewing away before we found it on Monday morning.

(and all the equipment kept running)

[arfur mo]

i've fortunately not experienced such a 'raw' deal, but have posted a few personal mishaps with plummers and plasterers

this is a related story i heard yesterday on the car radio, a 4 year old boy got fed up his older brother who had stopped playing with him prefering to spent all his time playing his new Nintendo WII. our hero being one to think outside of the box so to speak he decided to 'wee' into the Wii subsequently blowing it up.

to me thats just a boy being a boy and good on him for inventiveness, but you should have heard all the loony psycho babble cobblers being used in debating this kids 'behavior problems'

had i been his dad, i'd have smacked his bot gently with a proud smile on my face but all we heard was "can they claim for damage on the insurance?" perhaps they can't as it will come under 'natural disasters' perhaps.

regs

alan

[Number2]

Talking of raw deal, i had worked in a site at Swanage, a revolutionary design in sewage treatment. Millions spent designing and building the site and for one major factor that had been overlooked. FAT. The first day online great, the project lasted a mere 48 hours before being shut down for a full clean down as the system was being blocked by fatty deposits building up from the amount of chips people were eating and depositing. The same site also claimed a young mans life as the pumps and agetators were so violent should anyone fall in the pit a certain death would be the outcome. Sewage is not a nice business to work in and very dangerous if your not aware of the dangers, many lives are taken and injuries occur every day.

Saying all this though it was the best time of my career to date, meeting some of the strangest yet funniest people.

Good ol days!

PJF, my project manager was poisoned by the effluent and chemicals on a particular site, a nasty chemical is now in his bloodstream and is 400% above safe limits. Needless to say he is ill, very ill! I feel for you, i see how much pain he was in, grim!

[norman]

Number2 lol

[Baracus]

One of the water service engineers lost his leg when a 30foot screw stared up without notice. He hadnt isolated it properly and it caught his foot and mashed it up. The infection spread that quickly he lost the entire leg, but they reckon if his boots had a steel mid sole as well as toe cap he mightnt have been so bad

[Number2]

Ahhhhhh poo stories!

Whats making you laugh out loud Norman, my name or the storys?