satsuma01 Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, he discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction, clearly with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine! " Now the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" - but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says, " Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! " Moral of this story.... Don't try to mess with your elders .. age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! //.B.W.F.// and brilliance only come with age and experience. "If you carry your childhood with you, you never become old. Why rush to end life when happiness is in the blissfulness of childhood innocence.""We all die, the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will." 07475071344 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chorlton Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Hows the charity drive going? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfur mo Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Hows the charity wist drive going? the lion being the king of the jungle is well p'd off at all the animals pooing where they want, so calls a big meeting at the waterhole where he announces with deep toned threats "anyone caught not using the delegated latrines will be eaten - by me". a few days go by and things become cleaner, with a big difference by the end of 2 weeks, the elephant is now on the way to the latrine one day and comes across his friend a regis monkey have a dump on the path, shocked at the behavior the elephant says to the monkey -: "what are you doing there? the king has banned everyone doing that" "i don't care" says the monkey shrilly but if he catches you catches you then you will be eaten" "i really don't care" says the monkey even more shrilly "what ever has brought this on?" asks the elephant. "do you know that big gorrila?" say the monkey starting to snivel "yes i do" says the elephant "i was using the latrine and he said did i have any deseases" says the monkey now crying "well do you" askes the elephant, "no" replies the monkey "he then asked if i had any nasty skin conditions" says the monkey "well do you" askes the elephant, "no" replies the monkey "he then asked if i had washed properly every day" says the monkey "well do you" askes the elephant, "yes" replies the monkey "so whats the problem that could drive you to risk such danger?" ask's the elephant "well" says the monkey now bawling "after asking me all those questions - he looked me over picked me up in his left hand - and wiped his crack with me because their was no toilet paper". moral is you can be clean living and still sh^t happens regs alan If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
satsuma01 Posted July 19, 2008 Author Share Posted July 19, 2008 Hows the charity drive going? not bad at all quite a gfair few offline sponsors now as well. about "If you carry your childhood with you, you never become old. Why rush to end life when happiness is in the blissfulness of childhood innocence.""We all die, the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will." 07475071344 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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