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satsuma01

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Posted

1) On a popular hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".

(Darn it, that's the only time I have to dry my hair)

2) On a bag of Crisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(A shoplifter's special)

3) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".

(And that would be how?)

4) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".

(But, it's just a suggestion)

5) On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".

(Well...duh, a bit late now)

6) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".

(And you thought?)

7) On packaging for a iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".

(But, wouldn't this save me more time?)

8) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents, if we could get those 5 year olds with head colds to stop driving those dumper trucks)

9) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".

(And...I'm taking this because?)

10) On some brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".

(As opposed to...what?)

11) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".

(Now, somebody help me out on this one!)

12) On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".

(Talk about a news flash!)

13) On an Airline's packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".

(Who'd have thought it?)

14) On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

(I blame the parents for this one)

15) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".

(Was there a lot of this happening then?)

"If you carry your childhood with you, you never become old. Why rush to end life when happiness is in the blissfulness of childhood innocence."

"We all die, the goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will."

07475071344

Posted
1) On a popular hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".

(Darn it, that's the only time I have to dry my hair)

2) On a bag of Crisps: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(A shoplifter's special)

3) On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".

(And that would be how?)

4) On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".

(But, it's just a suggestion)

5) On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".

(Well...duh, a bit late now)

6) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".

(And you thought?)

7) On packaging for a iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".

(But, wouldn't this save me more time?)

8) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents, if we could get those 5 year olds with head colds to stop driving those dumper trucks)

9) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".

(And...I'm taking this because?)

10) On some brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".

(As opposed to...what?)

11) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".

(Now, somebody help me out on this one!)

12) On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".

(Talk about a news flash!)

13) On an Airline's packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".

(Who'd have thought it?)

14) On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

(I blame the parents for this one)

15) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".

(Was there a lot of this happening then?)

On a pair of boxer shorts: "May contain nuts"

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