Kate Adie, The Autobiography.

[magpye]

Extract from - Kate Adie, The autobiography.

American troops in Saudi Arabia being interviewed.

We spent the entire morning with several thousand American Gis – 10% women, over 30% black & 100% dim.

The idea that they’d be sassy, articulate, characterful individules from the Land of the Free is straight from Hollywood. The US army takes unpromising material & moulds it ruthlessly into dull unit responds to orders, or, to use the only phrase we heard forty-four times that morning, ‘does its dooty’. Dozens of these large, overfed & slightly lackadasical troops stared blankly as we asked them: ‘Why are you here? Why are you going to fight?’

One of the main stumbling blocks was not a political or philosophical conundrum, but the word ‘here’. They knew they were not in America, yessir. Some were faintly aware they might not be in that place where they were based – er – um – yes, Germany. Some thought they might be in Israel, a country they thought constituted most of the Middle East. Oneunit eagerly produced their candidate with the light-up brain-cell, an overweight corn-fed specimen whose glasses steamed up in excitement when he told us that they were all ready ‘to whup those guys who took our guys hostage’.

Puzzled, we asked, Which guys?

‘Those Eye-rannians,’ said our lad, to much applause & whooping from his mates.

At least we’d got one answer from the Americans, which was more than we subesquently managed as they continued to pour off the plains & ships. One particular unit arrived at the port of Al Jubail to stare at our cameras & grunt in agrressive fashion; the mob of regional TV American crews, ‘the affiliates’, were desperate for new material to satisfy the home-town appetite. They corralled some square-jawed men & began:

‘Soldier, could you tell us your name?’

‘Can’t say, sir.’

‘Why not?’

‘Sir?’

Another reporter stepped forward, cute & curvaceous, & tried her skills: ‘Like to say Hi to the kids?’

‘No, ma’am.’

‘OK – your wife – your girlfriend?’

‘Ma’am?’

A grizzled hack interrupted: ‘OK, just tell ys where you’re from.’

‘Can’t say, sir. If I tell you, some sneaky Iraqi spy might come & git ma family.’

The prospect of the Iraqi secret police crawling all over Kansas or Idaho in response to a vox pop in Saudi Arabia was interesting.