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A Few More From Me...


banjax

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Posted

My f**king neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning. Can you believe that?! 2:30am!

Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...

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Johnny was sat in his Biology lesson when all of a sudden the teacher shouted across the classroom,

"Johnny! I said, how do you make a hormone?!"

Apparently, "dont pay her" was not the correct answer...

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Apparently the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag.

So every morning I slap the wife and say "2 sugars, fat ****."

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David Cameron has imposed a new tax on sex:

Kissing will be taxed at 10%, Hugging at 20%,

Squeezing at 30%, Smooching at 50%

and full on sex at 90%.

The great news for you, as a ******.. It's still tax free.

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A bloke from Yorkshire goes into a jewellers.

He says "Can tha mek a gold statue o mi dog?"

The jeweller replies "Aye recon I can. Does tha want it eighteen carat?"

The bloke says "Nay ya daft lad, I want it chewing a bone!"

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