Security Guards

[The Arab]

Having over the years dealt with security guards here's some stories

1-7.00 on a sunday morning alarm will not set goes out after a quick coffee hi what seems to be the problem well the alarms not working ok show me punches in his code hits A 1 zone open see it's not setting that's because your front doors open oh ok do you have anything for me to sign does paperwork are you leaving now no i'm on all day then the other bloke comes on at 1800.So why phone at 7.00 in the morning ah just incase it won't set for me on friday.

2-4.30 now the early hours of the monday morning control room phones to say a security guard has placed a call for a pharmacy and has said that the alarm has been going off all weekend and now won't set no phone number and the contract he's booked it against has been shown as closed since saturday lunchtime.So off i go to the pharmacy totally empty but accross carpark infront of the heath centre is a guarding company car mmm i wonder so bangs on the door of the surgery out pops Mr security guard at last he says this alarm doesn't work i've tried everything so in with engineer code while he goes to finish his coffee alarms setting ok checks log sure enough alarm has been going off all weekend but that's because there is workmen in an area that was meant to have been left unset.So guard reappears look i say i can't find anything wrong with this have you set one of these before this p***es him off a bit as he's been a guard for 9 years and his mate he phoned has never seen this before either.Ok what are you getting i'll show he says code A 123 RRR look this is F***ed have you pressed 12 enter ? no why try it 1,2 enter oh i feel really stupid !!!!!!!!

3- next weekend 4.00am sunday morning can't setsecurity company on site after false alarm out i go 9500 scantronic remote keypad at front door so gets him to try setting sure enough zone shows open do you have a zone list "no" okay main box is in the managers office "i don't have keys" eventually turns out he does gets zone list okay it's a fire door fire door slightly open closes it still shows fault do you have key for the beer store as thats where the lim is "no" okay then you'll need to get a keyholder "we're the keyholders"no someone with a key for the beer store "they'll not like getting pulled out at this time in the morning"well they should give you access to keys "i'll phone my office" okay back he comes "they'll try to get someone" 90 minutes later in walks manager lets me in i replace faulty lim takes system out off engineering after walk test manager goes away so left with guard to do paperwork after being on site for just short of 3 hours and he says "could you not just have bypassed that zone"i say no but you could have "oh i suppose i should have asked earlier.

There's alot more but these are the funniest now(but not at the time)

[whistle]

when out on call they are so stuppid i have been out on so many waisted call outs because of thme.

One time i gets a call out at 3 am on a sunday morning to repair a bnc plug on a monitor at ici plant. After 1 hour travel got on site and repaired the plug and asked how long has it been like this " about a week" i went mad and asked why he did not call us out 9-5 his reply was well its nice and quiet now not much doing so i get you lot out..Nob head

[Guest]

I have had keyholders refuse to walk the building etc, but thats about it luckily, some keyholders wont get out of bed LOL.

[Guest Beaker]

Security guard in Morcambe. I was in the process of installing a new system in a building that was empty except for the guy on the desk. The place was pretty big and i had been listed 5 days on it. 2 completely seperate systems on two floors with a 3rd floor covered IIRC by a now defunct yellow bellbox company. I was working for a subby to another large regional at the time.

I get everything running, get the job signed off and leave. a week later I get a phonecall with the branch manager of the company it was installed for screaming down the phone at me. Aparrently I had ****ed up completely and the alarm in the building had been going off since the day after I had left. This isn't a biggie as I was covering Lancaster area at the time. However it's 3:30 on friday, i'm religious about finishing early on friday and i'm almost home(i'll work late thursday to get home by 4 on the friday). Not much i could do except turn round, fight the traffic through Lancaster and go to Morcambe. It's gone 5 by the time i get to the job. I hear a bellbox going off, something niggles me here but shrug my shoulders and head inside. As soon as I walk through the door the guard is all over me like a rash, complaining about poor workmanship and that "kids" like me shouldn't be left to work on my own (i was 21 and has been doing it 5 years already :/ ). I go upsairs and i'm trying to think what's niggling at me. 1st floor checks out fine, as does 2nd floor so I wander outside onto the fire escape to check the bellboxes. I'm stood there looking at the bellboxes when it strikes me that they are all dummies and the sound is coming from above me, internal sounders and digi only on the ones i had fitted, in my bad mood i had forgotten that.

When i walked up the fire escape the little yellow bellbox is flashing and the siren is going off. Now i'm _really_ p****d. So i head downstairs with a fixed smile on my face and explain politely to the security guard that it isn't our alarm and that he should ring the number i gave him to get it sorted. He screams at the top of his voice that he's responsible for getting the alarm fixed and i _will_ fix it NOW. I keep trying to explain that I don't care if he's got the keys to the offices or not, i'm not allowed to touch it and the other company will be there within a couple of hours if he rings them. He isn't happy with this, he wants me to either fix it or ring them myself. I'm getting annoyed now, it was getting towards 7 and i've got a nice young lady at home who keeps ringing me and asking me when i'll be finshed. In the end i just loaded my tools back up, got in the van and drove off after ringing both my boss and the night engineer to tell him not to bother unless the security guard there checks the alarms manually for fault information. End of story.

However i get back in Monday morning to pick up my job packs and find that the security guard tried with the other engineers who had the branch call phone that weekend. He also rang the head office 24 hour service line and demanded a visit, then had rung before I got to woek on the monday morning to file and official complaint about the fact we where disinterested. I got a kicking off the bosses for being "unhelpful".

[Guest Cerberus NI]

"HI - sorry,speak up I can't hear you over the fire alarm.It won't reset-have you put in the code before resetting?No thats not it,the code is 3 1 2 3 - key it in,the access light comes on then silence and reset."

Guy goes away to try it while I'm on the phone. "It still won't do it?I'd better come out then"...Hour & half travel..."Right thats it reset but I'm gonna set it off and let you reset it while I'm here.Ermmm excuse me,thats the intruder keypad mate.....!!" banghead

[Guest]

...

When i walked up the fire escape the little yellow bellbox is flashing and the siren is going off.  Now i'm _really_ p****d.  So i head downstairs with a fixed smile on my face and explain politely to the security guard that it isn't our alarm and that he should ring the number i gave him to get it sorted.  He screams at the top of his voice that he's responsible for getting the alarm fixed and i _will_ fix it NOW.  ...

63349[/snapback]

err.. why did you not ask a signature for invoice and replace the whole system??

THAT would have been a GOOD money.. (you could have forget that chick at your place and got to amsterdam for a few of them..!!

[Guest Beaker]

err.. why did you not ask a signature for invoice and replace the whole system??

THAT would have been a GOOD money.. (you could have forget that chick at your place and got to amsterdam for a few of them..!!

63371[/snapback]

it was friday evening, i was working for someone else and i had been told that the top floor was still under a service contract. Important bit being i wasn't working for myself and it it was either hot woman or overtime. Difficult choice

[Guest]

it was friday evening, i was working for someone else and i had been told that the top floor was still under a service contract.  Important bit being i wasn't working for myself and it it was either hot woman or overtime.  Difficult choice 

63373[/snapback]

I usually tell that i am working overtime while having another choice..

[Guest Dingle]

A rather large keyholding "security" company...

First guard goes out, and manages to lock himself in. 2 hours later, his mate arrives and manages to join the Locked-In Club. The staff KH, understandably, took his time getting there...

Or the guard who locked himself in a siphon and, despite another KH being only a few minutes away, decides to take a p*ss in the meantime.

Or the guard who attends a callout, phones in to say it was a moth on the detector, and gets his reset. Staff arrive in the morning to find 20 grands worth of computers missing...

All the same company, and no prizes will be awarded for figuring out which one.

[Guest]

A rather large keyholding "security" company...

First guard goes out, and manages to lock himself in. 2 hours later, his mate arrives and manages to join the Locked-In Club. The staff KH, understandably, took his time getting there...

Or the guard who locked himself in a siphon and, despite another KH being only a few minutes away, decides to take a p*ss in the meantime.

Or the guard who attends a callout, phones in to say it was a moth on the detector, and gets his reset. Staff arrive in the morning to find 20 grands worth of computers missing...

All the same company, and no prizes will be awarded for figuring out which one.

63444[/snapback]

i bet you know more of this stuff..